As I’m reminiscing on the week before my one-year mark, I think back on all the things I was doing to finish prepping for my surgery. I’m in a really good place right now (physically and emotionally) and excited to celebrate life; even though I’m sure I’ll have a few tears to shed next week. I started writing this post after the first surgery, but never published it for whatever reason. The week before surgery, I was frantically trying to get all my ducks in a row to get my home “child-proofed” and everything tidy at work so they were in a very good place. Continue reading
I haven’t quite settled on what to blog next – there’s been many things going through my mind and I’ve been writing a lot. Do I share random things I’ve written about leading up to surgery? Do I write more in-depth about what’s going on now 5 weeks post-op? I don’t have the answer. However, today I’m going to share with you something I wrote on Monday, September 8th. I had several friends over for a little party…
Ta-Ta to the Tata’s
I don’t throw many parties and growing up we didn’t have birthday parties, sweet 16, congratulations to adulthood, or whatever you want to call them kind of parties. Tonight was special. I had a boob voyage party that had everything from a booby cake, to booby cookies, to pink wine, and balloons made into boobs. It was so nice to breathe, laugh, and have fun. My friend’s really helped me stay positive and gave me many laughs.
I feel like tonight was kind of like a shower – bid farewell to a part of my body, acknowledge the circumstances, put some humor into something that isn’t so funny, and honor me. I remember my first ‘training bra’, sports bra, push-up bra, and all those ugly in-between bras Mom would pick out (no offense, Mom). Each represented a different set of memories in life of a girl and woman.
It was a small party – about 10 people – my sister and close friends. Tonight was a really fun night because many of my amazing friends came over to have a “Goodbye to the Tata’s” party. My friend went to Spencers and got a boob cake pan on her lunch break (funny story about that). She came over early so we could make a boob cake and decorate my house. The cake turned out awesome. Susie called many bakeries, but they wouldn’t make the cake because it may give them a bad name. What?!?!
The thing I remember the most about tonight is all the laughter and smiles we all had. We talked about boobs, of course, and everything under the sun. The funniest thing was when my awesome friend (who shall remain nameless, but name starts with an S) shouted out, “I can’t wait to get to second base with you.” She’s never felt fake boobs on someone. The only ones she felt up were the ones sitting on the counter of the patient’s room at my doctor’s office
Some people may get disturb about joking and laughing about this kind of situation. I may be able to laugh more easily than some. Don’t get me wrong, reality is it’s not amusing cutting off my boobs on Wednesday. I’m sure it won’t be so funny when I can’t sleep because the expanders dig into my chest wall or pull on my sternum or the drains snag or I can’t move at all. But, I know when humor won’t be welcomed. I’m still going to keep my positive attitude throughout this whole journey and turn things into laughter.
Susie made a breast cancer ribbon card and had everyone sign it with well-wishes. I promised myself I wasn’t going to read it until Wednesday. Fail! A friend taped it up on my hallway light switch and I kept walking past it. After everyone left, I was turning lights off and couldn’t help myself from reading everyone’s note. I had to stop myself from crying tonight, because I know if I cry I won’t get it back together. I’m keeping this up on the wall as a daily reminder after surgery that tonight was one special night and I have some amazing people in my life.
These friends came over to support me and show how much they cared. It means the world to me how much love, care and support I have around me. I’m overwhelmed and touched. Tonight, I walked away feeling so very, very loved and incredibly blessed. I have some amazing people in my life that will help me get through this surgery. It was such a fun night and one I’ll remember forever. After all, how many “Ta-ta to the Tata’s” parties can one have?!?! I think I know what the next party will be…”Hello Memory Foam Ta-ta’s!!!”
Thank you to everyone that came tonight. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough, but I hope each of you know how much you mean to me.
Side note: I know some of you reading this don’t get why you’d throw a boob party and think it weird. I celebrated the power of knowledge and not being succumbed to the “what-ifs” and anxiety that comes with being BRCA1.